Wisdom of Elder Thaddeus...

Some motivating quotes I read this morning from Elder Thaddeus:

"It seems that we do not understand one thing: it is not good when we return the love of those who love us, yet hate those who hate us. We are not on the right path if we do this. We are the sons of light and love, the songs of God, his children. As such we must have His qualities and His attributes of love, peace, and kindness toward all."

"The Lord called every one of us into being with a certain goal and plan in mind. Every little blade of grass on this earth has some kind of mission here on earth, and how true this is of human beings! However, we often disturb and interfere in God's plan. We have the freedom either to accept His will or to reject it; God, Who is love, does not wish to take this freedom away from us. We have been given complete freedom, but we, in our foolishness, often have many useless desires."

"Parents always want their children to be happy, content, and thankful to them for all their work and sacrifice. So when they see their children in a bad mood and unthankful, they're saddened. It's the same with our Heavenly Father. He has given us everything, but we are always unsatisfied and gloomy. Instead of thanking and praising God for everything, we only express our thankfulness with our lips, and our hearts remain cold. Joy is thankfulness, and when we are joyful, that is the best expression of thanks we can offer the Lord, Who delivers us from sorrow and sin."

"The fear of God is not the animal-like fear of this world. Our fear is like that, and we must strive to conquer this. Such fear is from hades. Our life is filled with fear. We fear what tomorrow will bring, what the future has in store for us...That is an animal-like fear. The fear of God is when you love Him, when you truly love Him with all your heart and you strive never to offend or sadden Him - not only with your deeds, actions, and words, but also with your thoughts. You try to please Him in everything you do or say. That is the fear of God - the fear of doing anything that might sadden or offend our Parent."

Friends

I spent the day with a good friend today. She came over with her 6-month old baby boy, and spent most of the day with us. It was so nice to let go of our routine for the bulk of the day, and sit and chat and play. Of course, my dishes and laundry got backed up but it was worth the extra work. Mamas need friends more than anyone else, I think. Sometimes it's fun to be "irresponsible" for a few hours!

Another nice thing about today was that this morning, both my hubby and I managed to get up before the kids. I was actually really impressed that he was up before me, because that doesn't happen much these days unless he's serving that day. So I got in my shower while he made coffee, and then we sat and talked for a few minutes while sipping our coffees. Then he went to watch some news while I did some of my daily reading from Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives.

Here's a nice quote I came across the other day.

"Everyone you come across is fighting a silent battle you know nothing about. Be kind, always."

Breathing...

I just stopped amidst an extremely hectic day to down a cup of coffee, get myself a cup filled to the brim with iced water, and sit down as fast as possible. Finally, one possible minute of quiet while the older kids are napping and the 3rd baby is playing quietly in her bed. Today has been one of those "how do all the mothers out there do it?" kind of days. I'm exhausted, which is no different from any other day, but this time, I feel ready to collapse into a pile on the floor.

It's frustrating when you have endless piles of laundry to wash, fold and put away and dishes that never seem to stop coming on, and these are just minimal household duties that seem to take an entire day to take care of...or in the case of this entire week, a day goes by and they are still not completed. It's at this point that I stop myself and ask, am I doing my best today? If the answer is yes, I take it and accept it. If my answer is no, I try to solve the problem by stepping up my game, stop being distracted by other things, and try again.

If I stop to think in these crazy, hectic moments, as I scoop myself a bowl full of ice cream topped with M&M's, pecans and whipped cream (because finally, all 3 babies are asleep for their naps!) I realize that it's a moment like this in which I need God the most. It's these in-the-trenches moments that are sent to Mamas like myself to remind us that we need God to be a part of absolutely every task we set out to complete. If I just breathe through the Jesus Prayer a few times, everything feels better and I am reminded that it will be ok, and that i'm not a superhuman (nor should I try to be one). For sure, I'm not the first and certainly not the last mama out there who is struggling to just get through her daily routine with her little ones.

Most importantly, I find it hard not to complain on days like today. "It's too hard." "I miss college days." "When will I ever get a break?" I say things like this over and over again...and I really feel guilty each time because yes, it's hard, but it could always be harder. My babies are healthy and so am I, and if it's not hard, I'll never really feel a reward in life.

Speaking of rewards...my husband loves to remind me that patience pays off and brings unexpected gifts. Well, just a few minutes ago, he texted me that one of his meetings today got cancelled, so he'll be able to come home and spend some time helping me in my difficult day. :) YAY!

Home Sweet Home

Finally, after a full five weeks of being away from home, we're back. It feels good, but strange at the same time! I got so used to being fed freshly cooked meals which were prepared by my grandmother or mama, and having babysitters around all the time, and now I am having a reality check getting back into the groove of my housekeeping routine!! It's good though...being away for so long has made me feel like I'm getting a new beginning with being a homemaker, and I really like that.

A few of the necessary things to do when getting home from vacation have so far included making several to do lists: meal planning for the week ahead, unpacking suitcases and doing laundry (though I try to always come back from NY with freshly laundered clothes), cleaning each room (ideally this would be done prior to leaving, but never have I accomplished this yet...).

One of the best things about being back home is that spring has really sprung here while we were gone, and I feel like a load was lifted off of my chest because finally we can spend a lot of time outside without being uncomfortable or cold. It's been in the 60's and 70's this week and I love it! I have been thinking about a new daily routine for the spring and summer months and so far, I have nothing really concrete, but here's an idea of what I am shooting for (an what we stuck to today).

-Wake up before the kids (6 AM is what I'll aim for) - This will give me some "me" time and time to get a headstart on laundry and emptying the dishwasher
-Morning family time - Prayer, Today Show
-Breakfast
-Hubby goes to the office, Mama and kids go for a walk around the lake
-Play time in the house for the kids while Mama does housework and prepares lunch
-Lunch
-Story
-Nap time for all 3 babies, Tea time and down time for Mama
-Snack time
-Outdoor play time
-Indoor play/Dinner preparations
-Tata comes back from the office
-Dinner
-Family time (outdoor play or a family outing)
-Bedtime for the kids

I really thrive off of having a routine and I know that most importantly, children thrive from one as well. I'm really going to try to stick to this...especially the morning walk. I find myself to be much less crabby if I get some fresh air in the morning and I don't feel like I'm overwhelmed by lunch time this way.

I'm very excited for the upcoming Memorial Day Weekend! Late tonight, one of my best friends is flying in from New Jersey to be with us for the weekend. And on Saturday, we're having a barbecue for some friends in honor of my older daughter's 2nd birthday. We celebrated it in New York with family, but now we'll celebrate with friends whom we missed so much while we were gone!

Mother of God, Nurturer of Children

Icon of the Mother of God, "Nurturer of Children"

Some days around here are especially difficult, just because having three very small children comes with having to meet a lot of needs throughout the day, and it can become quite trying for the Mama when there isn't enough of her to go around!

Lately I have been trying to come up with ways to keep myself motivated and to not give up on days like these. One thing that I realized I should do, which I have never done until now, is to read an Akathist to the Mother of God. Who better to look for for help than the Mother of Our Lord? I can't believe I have never done this before. Prayer from your own self is one thing - at least for me, sometimes it's hard to even find the words to pray for what I feel I am in need of. Other days, I'm too exhausted to even think about a prayer of my own. So I find it to be the most fitting for me right now to read a prayer or prayers that are already written down (and have been written by someone much more holy than I!)

I wanted to share this beautiful Akathist to the Mother of God, Nurturer of Children. It can be found and printed at this link. For the last few nights, all I have done was read 3 ikoses and kontakions (so night one, I read Ikos 1, Kontakion 1, Ikos 2, Kontakion 2, Ikos 3, Kontakion 3). I decided to start slow because it was late at night, but also because I don't want to overwhelm myself if I do not have time to read the entire thing some nights - which is very likely. After the first night, I woke up the next morning so much more peaceful, and I had a much easier time dealing with my children that day. It was incredible. My son, who is my biggest challenge these days, even listened to me on the first time for most of the day! It was so rewarding, and all I had done was reach out for extra help to the Mother of God, which took up just a few minutes of my time. I've been keeping up since, and my days are flowing more smoothly thanks to Her help. It's funny how just a little extra effort can go such a long way!

Motherhood: A Balancing Act

Today I felt overwhelmed by all the many things I have on my to-do list which never get crossed off. I feel really ambitious some days, and then it frustrates me when I have nothing to show for myself at the end of a day, a week or a month. Today my overwhelm got the point where I felt completely distracted and unfocused on my housework and the kids. Luckily, my husband was home and urged me to go out and get my eyebrows done quickly, which I have been trying to do all week. I grabbed a book in case I'd have to wait (and secretly, I hoped there would be a wait!) and slipped out the door.

As I sat waiting, I pulled out my book - A Mother's Book of Secrets. I was incredibly surprised to find that the chapter I had my bookmark on was called "A Balancing Act." The chapter was all about feeling overwhelmed like I have been...It was refreshing to remember that I am not the only Mama who struggles with that.

So tonight, I'd like to share some tips from this chapter which I am hoping to incorporate into my life starting Monday. I found this idea which you'll read about below, to be genius!

"Begin by drawing three lines at the top of your daily planner page or just on a blank piece of paper if you don't do planners. Write one thing on the first line that you are going to do for yourself that day. It may be just reading the introduction of the book you've been dying to get to for the past month. It could be making time to exercise for fifteen minutes or writing a letter you've been procrastinating so you can get it off your mind.

On the second line, write just one thing that you want (not need) to do for someone in your family -- it could be for a child, a spouse, or your mother. Just some little thing that will make a difference, like complimenting a child on a job well done, calling your mom to see if she's OK, or telling your husband how much you love him for sacrificing something he wanted to do with the family.

On the third line, write something you want to do (not need to do) in 'your world.' If your work is at home, that could be cleaning out the junk drawer that drives you crazy every time you open it. If you're at an office, you could send a note to a someone to tell them how much you appreciate them. Your world that day may be serving a friend or neighbor. Just choose one thing!

Determine that even if doing what you have written on those three lines is the only thing you accomplish that day, your day has been a success! You'll feel a little more balanced because even though those three little things probably won't take as much time to accomplish as the things that you have to do, you will love accomplishing just three things that you really want to do rather than feeling controlled by the things you have to do. Doing those three things every day is also important because they usually have to do with relationships - with yourself, your family, and your work. They are things that keep you thinking about the most important things in your life."

Isn't this just brilliant??? I feel like God answered my prayer just by having me read a little of this book today! I have been struggling to come up with a good system in which to balance all my relationships and responsibilities, and this just seems like a perfect little daily exercise. I think I may actually do my planning the night before for each day, though. We'll see how it goes. I'll keep you posted.

I really recommend this book to all moms who have young children in their house still. It's written by a mother and her daughter and truly, they do share real secrets with their readers!

I hope to be back tomorrow and share a recipe or two.

Have a great weekend! We are half way through Great Lent already!!

On Motherhood

Motherhood is a great many things, and as all mamas know, sometimes it's just plain hard.

These last few days haven't been easy - my older kids have been overtired and crabby, and the baby has been going through a wonder week, making her more fussy than usual as well. Some days are just about survival - leaving all the housework and other type of 'work' for just making sure that you don't lose your cool and make sure you just meet the kids' needs. So, all week I've been in survival mode (not to mention eating many chocolate chip cookies) :-).

A few things to share today.

Speaking of survival mode... Today, the baby screamed all morning long. She'd fall asleep, I'd put her down, she'd wake up and scream again...etc. It was a long morning. Finally, she fell asleep for good and I fed the two older kids lunch and got them upstairs, in "bed." (I say in "bed" because my older son doesn't actually sleep these days but instead wreaks havoc in his room. It's better this way than for him to stay downstairs though, because then, I'd lose my sanity...just need that quiet few minutes to have a cup of tea in peace). So I got the kids in bed, and looked around at my messy kitchen wondering what the heck I'm going to eat for lunch. Just then, I saw someone come to the door. It was a fellow mom from church and she brought me a HUGE pot of Russian kasha with fried onions and mushrooms, just the way I love to eat it. I was so happy I could cry. I shoved 3 bowls into my mouth followed by a cup of tea and 2 chocolate chip cookies.
The point is...if you know a Mama who you know has a newborn and probably a crazy day every day, bring her a meal and she will really, really appreciate it and love you forever!!! I can't wait to repay her in some way or just do this for another Mama when I feel up to it.

Next. I have found an incredible Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe for Lent. It is so good. I can't stop eating these (which probably means I shouldn't make another batch, haha!) For all you chocolate lovers... Here's the link.

Next...Someone posted this on Facebook today and it is SO appropriate for the morning I had today, but it's also great for all moms to read....For every mom who feels envious of another mom's "season in life" right now. Don't be envious, and here's why!

Lastly...I've been struggling to come up with a daily routine for a while now, since the 3rd baby was born. I'm always too tired at the end of the day to work on my routine and I realized the other day that I'm probably just trying too hard. By the time I ever get to write down a perfect routine in a perfect spreadsheet format, my kids will probably all be in college.

So, I've started doing something a bit different and less complicated. I happen to have a great planner (an Erin Condren planner - check her out if you need one!) and I have not used it since the start of the year. Finally I have picked it up again and wrote down all the important appointments and dates we have going on for the next few weeks. Now, I also started sitting down with my nightly cup of tea and planning out my next day (kind of like what I did when I was teaching). It's really important for kids to have structure to their day, and I have been feeling guilty that I am not giving them any activities to do and am always just telling them to "play." My older son is 3 now and I have read and also have noticed that at 3, kids really need help coming up with what to do instead of just throwing them in their playroom telling them to 'play.' He's a  really smart kid  and if he isn't given a task to do, he starts acting rambunctious (climbing on furniture and jumping down, spilling water into drawers, trying to fix things in the house...). But I can't blame him, because he's just being a boy and he needs to feel occupied at all times. So in my planner, I've started jotting down activities for the next day. If I need help coming up with an activity, I look through several books on toddler activities, or on Pinterest. Some things are really simple though, like writing a birthday card for an aunt or uncle, playing hide-and-seek, things like that. It's hard in the moment sometimes to come up with a plan of what to do, and writing things down the night in advance has really helped me a lot this week. It's one simple way to make an already crazy day just a bit less chaotic.

In addition to writing down what I want to do with the kids, I've written down a few things I would like to accomplish that day, too. In between each activity with the kids, I try (if the baby allows) to get in 15 minutes here and there to work on one of my tasks. This makes things a bit less crazy, again. By the way - the timer can really be your best friend. I love to set my timer and pick a chore to do and work on it for just the time I've set on my timer. You'd be surprised what you can accomplish in just 15 or 20 minutes! I started doing this for almost everything - for reading my books, for cleaning, for hobbies, etc, because otherwise, it just feels like there's just not enough time for anything during the day.

Today's quote: "If you want to bring someone onto the right path, to teach and advise him, then you must humble yourself first and talk to the person with a lot of love. He will accept your advice, for he will feel that it is given with love. But when you want to have your way at all costs, then you will achieve nothing. That is how resistance builds up in the child." -Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica

On Motherhood

My husband went to church tonight for Forgiveness vespers, which meant I got to put all 3 kids to bed without his help for the first time since the baby was born. At one point, for a good while (and of course for what seemed like an eternity), all three kids were screaming. There just wasn't enough Mama to go around. (The biggest problem was it was obvious they each needed their own time with me, instead of a group hug). I took a deep breath and did what I could, which in this case was make the rounds and go from one kid to the next. As I laid on the bed with my middle child (my older daughter), trying to get her to fall asleep, I heard the baby start screaming in the background and thought about how I wish I could give each of them what they need right away every time, though it's not always possible. This moment made me realize just how big and capable God is, and how little and incapable we are even though we tend to think we are capable of so much. He is the only One who can truly help all of His children with all of their problems at one time, and that's a beautiful thing.

Looking forward to tomorrow, the first day of Great Lent, a new beginning for every Orthodox Christian. 

I'll post an extra quote tomorrow since it's late and I don't have one at the moment.

Preparing for Great Lent

Growing up, I really dreaded the period of Great Lent because it seemed to drag on forever. Life always seemed to be "on hold" during this serious time, plus, I always felt extra tired from the fasting menu and I just couldn't wait for Pascha to come. In the last decade or so however, I have grown to love and even look forward to this period. I now get excited to put aside worldly cares, read spiritual books and prepare not only physically and mentally for Pascha, but most importantly, spiritually. Preparing as much as possible, in the proper way, makes Holy Week, Pascha, and Bright Week so much more meaningful.

In my experience, Great Lent takes on a whole new meaning for mothers. Gone (temporarily) is the chance to stand in church on the first week, listen attentively to the Great Canon, and let the feeling of serious prayer soak in. Children tugging at a Mama's skirt, asking if the service is over yet, racing through the church or squabbling with a sibling - dealing with each of these situations becomes the mother's prayer year-round, but especially during Great Lent, when temptations seem to be at their highest. It can sometimes seem pointless to even be at the services because our children are distracting others (and us) from prayer, embarrassing us, and making it impossible for us Mamas to get anything out of the service. It is a frustrating and trying service each time. But really, we can and should take this opportunity to challenge ourselves and not to let our babies get to us. Instead, we should let them guide us and help us become just a little tiny bit better during this holy period. If we can cross ourselves each time we're having a difficult moment, God will help us get through each temptation and show our kids what the proper Lenten attitude should be.

Having said that, this is the first year that my husband and I are going to be responsible in preparing two toddlers for Pascha. The little one is just two months old so she is going to be a little young to do anything other than be present at services. I have been thinking of age-appropriate ways to help an almost-2 year old and a 3-year old participate in the fast and prepare for the Feast of Feasts. I'm not very experienced at this yet, but I have managed to come up with a few little ideas, many of which I have seen from other mothers and am adapting to my own style.

Here's what I'm planning on doing this year with the kids:

1) Make a Paschal countdown. I will take a basket and fill it with  46 plastic eggs (40 days of Lent + 6 days of Holy Week), and each morning after prayer, I will have the kids remove one egg from the basket. The emptier our basket gets, the closer we'll be to Pascha. (Originally I planned that we'd add a labelled egg each day to the basket, but then I realized it might be difficult to explain to the kids how to know that Pascha is approaching. They're still too little for a "count-up.")

2) I have selected one Paschal song (new to me as well!) that I will work on teaching the older two kids. On Pascha, we can hopefully perform it to family and friends (maybe even to the Bishop if they are brave enough). I'm also going to teach Lazar (hopefully) a poem about Pascha. In addition, I would like to teach them the Russian and Serbian melodies of Hristos Voskrese (this should not be too hard because singing comes easy to these two).

3) Lately with my pregnancy and now a newborn in the house, the kids have been watching more tv than I ever hoped they'd watch (only an hour a day, but still too much for my liking). Even though they do not quite understand what it means to "fast" yet, I would feel better cutting down their tv time to perhaps just weekends, if possible.

Things I'd like to do personally:

1) Read, read and read (spiritual reading, that is). I have been reading more than usual lately thanks to my nursing sessions which require me to sit in one spot and not get up...but still, there are the distractions of a cellphone, tv, etc and I would like to cut all of that out and use my nursing sessions strictly for reading. I'd like to ideally get in some extra reading time at night when the kids are asleep as well.

2) Go to confession and Communion each weekend. (Self-explanatory).

3) Take on a new, non-screen-related hobby. I'm choosing sewing! I've had a machine for over a year now, and have yet to use it simply due to fear of failure. I really need a good old-fashioned niche, and hopefully sewing can fill that void for me. (plus, what could be more fun than being able to sew new things for my babies?)

4) CLEAN our house!!! I'm going to deep-clean the house as best I can, taking on one room at a time. With 3 little ones under foot, it isn't going to be an easy task but I am hoping to create small windows of time each morning and evening for this job. One thing this includes me doing is going through all our clothes and getting rid of what we do not need. We have way too much of everything!

5) Cut out secular music and TV for the period of Lent. (This is something I have always done and really enjoy, actually.)

Today's Quote: "Are you fighting against your passions? Fight, fight, and be good soldiers of Christ! Do not give in to evil and do not be carried away by the weakness of the flesh. During the time of temptation, flee to the Physician, crying out with the Holy Church, our mother: 'O God, number me with the thief, the harlot, and the publican (i.e. with the repentant), and save me!'" -St. Anatoly of Optina

Day 2...

This morning the day began with Mama spilling cheerios and rice krispies all over the floor while serving breakfast to the kids. I guess it was meant to be for me to sweep my floor this morning!! Aside from sweeping though, in these situations we have a handy tool that works much more efficiently - the handy dandy Dustbuster. It's one of the best investments we have ever made since we have had a toddler-infested house. Makes clean up after messy meal-times or cookie decorating (with sprinkles all over the floor) SO much easier!

Baby is officially 7 weeks old today! She's really fussy this morning, so I currently have her attached to me in the baby carrier...another product I have been recommending to every mom I know. I upgraded my baby carrier with this baby and got the Beco Gemini. It's the best thing ever! For those who are familiar with the Baby Bjorn, this carrier is very similar but can hold heavier babies (up to 35 lbs), and can also be carried on the hip or back in addition to out front. Need your hands but have a crying baby and no help? Strap baby on to yourself and you're good to go! I haven't used a baby carrier so much until this baby because this time I've got 2 other little ones to tend to simultaneously.

An update on my messy kitchen: It's about a quarter cleaned for now. Hoping to get some more done today. Yesterday we ended up having to make an unexpected trip to Indiana for an errand, so I lost most of the afternoon.

Off to unload the dishwasher while the kids are all quiet for a few minutes ;-).

Today's quote: "Only he who leaves everything to the will of God can feel truly joyous, light and peaceful." -Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica (quote pulled from his book, Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives)

The Beginning of a New Adventure

Welcome!

Today, I am embarking on a new journey...a new adventure, I should say. Today is my first day at home with my brood of 3 children under the age of 3 1/2. My youngest baby, a little girl, is just 7 weeks old. For the last 7 weeks, I have been more than blessed to have help from family (first my sister, then, my 82 year old grandmother who is actually the most energetic person in the family). Now that my family has gone, I am excited to get into a new routine and be alone with my little family of 5 for the first time.

As any mama would know, the journey of a mother is a cross of its own kind and no Mama ever has it easy. I've decided to start this blog for several reasons. 1) I have found guidance and encouragement through other mothers' blogs in my toughest times. 2) As any mother can relate, motherhood many times can seem like a big fog as it currently does for me. I'd like to look back to this blog later and use it to remember what my life was like. 3) Most of our family lives far away from us and I'd love for them to be able to see what we're up to each week without having to make an appointment for a phone call which will then likely get cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances in the home. I know that my sister and I frequently have short chats that are ended with "baby's crying, gotta go!"

To begin, I'd love to show you what my kitchen currently looks like. Frankly, it's a mess. My one goal of the day is to tidy it up aside from my other typical duties like feeding the kids, etc.

To conclude my first post, I wanted to share one of my sanity-saving tips.
Each morning, ideally, I wake up before everyone else does (now at this point when I have a newborn, this is impossible because I'm really in need of every extra minute of sleep). I have my coffee and read the daily Bible readings on an App on my phone. I find that this helps me start the day off in the right frame of mind. The days I forget to put God first, I find are usually rather disastrous. Next, if there's time, I love to read through a notebook of uplifting quotes that I have started keeping since my second child was born. It's really helpful to me in staying optimistic throughout the day. A routine like this has really helped me feel more at peace during the day because I'm not as inclined to search for "me time" throughout the day when the kids are awake if I get my time in the morning. It also helps me be a more patient and present mother during the day because I've had the chance to clear my head and prepare for the day (forget trying to clear my head at night...it always ends up with me falling asleep on the couch)! I really used to struggle with finding that inner peace in the morning, and while getting up early is a sacrifice, it's worth it.

Prayers have been said, I have my Chocolate Layer Cake candle lit, my tulips smiling at me from the table, coffee in hand, and Andrea Bocelli Radio playing on Pandora. Here's hoping that today is a successful first day home with my three babies!

I'll end with a quote.
"Being happy doesn't mean you have it all; it means being thankful to the Lord for all you have."